Book Review for "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die"
Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
“We do not have to wait until we are old to become wise.
We can discover these secrets at any age and the sooner we discover them,
the more fulfilling our lives will be.” – John Izzo, Ph.D.
I just read a great book that should be read by everyone of any age.
What makes life worth living? How can we live in a meaningful and joyous way?
Do we need to fear death?
Dr. John Izzo addresses these questions in his latest very readable book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (2007 Berrett- Koehler Publishing, Inc). Izzo found that the two things humans want most are to find joy and contentment (happiness), while living a full life with meaning. After interviewing 200 persons between the ages of 60-106 from every sphere of the work-world, race and religion, he discovered five inspiring secrets that provide a good blueprint or road-map to use for our journey toward finding happiness and purpose. The following is a brief synopsis of each secret:
1.Be True to Yourself. Follow your heart and your dreams, not the dreams someone else has for you. This may mean making a radical change in your life, or simply making small adjustments. Continually examine your life is to make sure you are following your own true path. This is largely a western value, linked to the Greek philosopher Socrates, who said: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” One way to do this is to look more carefully at what you call a “good day” and a “bad day.” If you are having more “bad days” than “good days” you may not be true to yourself. One can agree that if one doesn’t engage in self-reflection one will likely live another’s life of one’s own.
2.Leave No Regrets. Although all of the people whom Izzo interviewed had some regrets, people who had the fewest were the happiest. Izzo found the purpose-filled women and men interviewed were proud they’d taken risks. “People regret what they did not do, even more than what they did.” A common theme is that people were less regretful about failed risks that they were about the failure to risk more. At the age of 68 I resonate with that insight, though I am so far from some of those events where I failed to act that I wonder if I have forgotten the circumstances that created the hesitation.
The greatest fear expressed was not the fear of death, but the fear of dying with regrets about life. What about the conversation you intended to have with your parents before they become infirmed or died? Are there conversations that you, the parent, need to have with a child?
3.Become Love. Love not primarily being a feeling, but a choice. Being kind is something you can choose even in hard situations. However, the more you focus on acting with love, the more you will find happiness, says Izzo. This begins with choosing to love one’s self and breaking away from thoughts that are self-defeating and self-critical.
Make loving relationships a priority in your life. Am I spreading love and kindness in the world of my inter-actions?
4.Live the Moment.Living the moment means living your life now rather than simply planning it. “We must always live in the present moment, the only moment in which we have any power,” writes Izzo. One woman said, “You have to stop judging your life and start living your life. Stop keeping score trying to decide if you are winning. Instead live each day fully and stay in the moment.”
Rather than focus on the past or the future, Izzo says, “… experience each moment with gratitude and purpose.” Several wise elders revealed how they start each day with a prayer of gratitude for the opportunity to live that day, and end the day with thanks and appreciation for the day’s experiences.
Do I anticipate with a sense of joy what I will be doing today? For what am I grateful at this moment?
5.Give More Than You Take. Even while our society prods us to strive for worldly “security” through wealth, power and fame, Izzo’s seniors reminded him that people really do get a deeper sense of meaning by feeling they’ve made a difference. Izzo indicates, “When I asked people what gave their life the greatest meaning, people told me again and again people that being of service and knowing that you made things better because you were here was by far the greatest source of meaning.”
You have the power to give freely. People long to make a contribution. Giving connects people to something larger than themselves – whether it’s a Supreme Being or the entire human experience on journey.
Is the world a better place this week because of my contribution? What kind or generous act have I taken today?
Izzo says there is a great deal of difference in knowing and going. When you know you have to go – you have to put the five secrets into practice daily.
I strongly recommend this book for reading. I read it on a plane flight and spent much of the night thinking about how to put these secrets into action.
What Secret speaks most to you and what actions do you plan to take to implement that secret?
Gerard Howell
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